Oh the ker-fluff-fill-ness of it all

Everything in life is a learning process. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Although, this attitude does not come naturally, let me tell you, but comes after learning that with a mature(ing) relationship with God you realize that there is good and bad, and a purpose for everything, even if it is crappy. I have been praying for a teachable heart and for wisdom, and I think that the only way to get these gifts is through life experience. Now, not all of life is experiences are bad, but you seem to learn the most from your own mistakes. And God may never intended to have bad things happen to you, but we do live in a world runned by sin. I have learned that you can either sit and dwell on the crappiness of it all and your own self-pity, or you can learn from things, and move on and help others. Moving on does not mean about forgetting things, but embracing it and learning from it only then God allows you to move away. To live in denial of the past only corrupts the future. I was reading through job. Job seems to be the book that people read when they feel crappy, but it struck me yet again. No matter what God allowed Satan to take away from Job, Job always claimed sovereignty. That the Lord is God. So God is good, all the time, God is good!!
Secondly thing is wow, I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. I am almost done my first year of university, well I have one more final on Wednesday...then I am FREE!! Although I am thinking of all the things that I have to do between now and this weekend, and I think I probably procrastinated a bit more than what I should of. On top of it, it is sad to say, I lost my debit card again. Yes this is in totally the third card that I have lost this year...well earlier being my first debit card, the my global payment card, and now my new debit card**try not to laugh...feel the pain***. I think that they should develop microchips and put them into the card so you can trace where the card is and then you can find it. I do not know how I lost this one...all I know is that I used it last either last thursday after my test or on Wednesday night to get cash. I can't remember. I know, I am pathetic. Now with loosing my stupid card, I have absolutely NO access to my account. But I did manage today to go to the affinity credit union, made a check out to myself, then they had to call my home bank, then clear it, then charge me for their credit union services....unfair?? Boo Urns yes...I don't understand all these different divisions of the credit union...they seem silly. But I did get some money out of my account so I could go shopping for tree planting stuff. It seems weird or not really real that I am leaving. But today buying the stuff, helped and tomorrow I am going to get my bus ticket...hopefully. With all this stuff going on, plus trying to study for my final, and moving, AHAHAAHa...I really should of started packing earlier. Oh well, it will get done and life will go on.

Untitled Hymn ( by chris rice)

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus, and live!
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain...so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk, sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
Steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain...then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!
O, when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside...then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side...and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Contentment

"we want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow's end, never honest, not kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present."-uncle Screwtape
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. The Screwtape Letters is a good book, if you have not read it, read it, C.S Lewis has a way of writing. But here, unlce Srewtape is presenting one of the most diablicial case to this nephew, Wormwood. In our Christian lives we are supposed to not worry about the future, for the future has enough worries of its own. To trust implicitly is hard. There are somethings though that I don't worry about, for instance, I do not know where I will be in two years or three years or whatever and I find that exciting. I find the future exciting that I know in the next couple of years God is going to do amazing things and things that I thought I would never do. I know this, because I look at the things that I have done already. But there are elements of the future that I continually worry about, because I have absolutely no control over, which I know is a good thing.
Secondly I thought about how many of us chase after the rainbows end, how many of us are not content because we are striving for something that is just out of our grasp. If I just get my degree, then everything will be fine, then I can start life. This is where I am at, is Christ determining what is contentment or am I trying to determine that. Although i don't think getting a degree is bad, and it is something that I am looking forward to, but it is the attitude around it. Contentment has been learning that it is not the gradification of things that I want, but it is me realizing what God has already done for me. It is me realizing just how much I posses in Christ. "such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." -2 corinthians 3:4-5

The river of life

Sitting in the kitchen, trying to keep my focus on my paper, but my mind just doesn't seem to stay on track. I day dream a lot. As I was sitting there, I don't know what sparked this memory, but I sat there for ten minutes laughing about it. If you had a camera stationed in the kitchen, it would of been a funny clip. But I would like to share it with you. Even though it was probably one of those things that you would have to have there to find it funny...
Growing up there was this road in frontier that was pretty bumpy. Yes, there is a lot roads in frontier that are bumpy, but this one in particular, was really bumpy. The pavement was all warped and full of pot holes, we called it the River of Life. Why the river of life?? Because if you drive fast enough down it, you feel like you are going down white water rapids and then you have to hold on to dear life. I remember one night Kjersti and I were going down the river of life in the Bob mobile (long live bob!!) and we always sang a lot in her car, bad singing at that. Our two favorite songs where "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston and the song off of the prince of Egypt, and we never really knew the whole song...only, "river, oh river, flow gently for me, such precious cargo you (then it went into a cross between a turkey gulping and screamo..) BEEEAAARRR". Now when you mix two hyper girls, the river of life, bad singing, and an old car, it makes for some good times.
Now reading this, I don't know that you will appreciate or find it funny. But, when you live in a small town, you have to find something to do.
P.S-I am sorry Kjersti for letting out our "little secret" he he

Your Elf Name Is...

Twinkles Candy Cane Lips

What's Your Elf Name?

Your True Love's Name Is

Nathan S.

What's Your True Love's Name?

Hey Megan you better watch out!!!

unexpected things..

I think it is really cool how God brings people into your life. Especially when it comes to friends. I have been blessed with such friends, friends that you can call and cry too, laugh with...friends that you can tell anything to, and you know that they love you can care for you....friends that you can hang out with for hours and hardly say anything, friends that you make memories with, friends that you can share your journey with. I hope that I am that same friend back as well. I guess that is how God designed it to be, to rely on our brothers and sisters in Christ, our support systems if you will.
A couple of days ago, I met a lady who was in saskatoon visiting some friends. Anyways, as we began talking it was not before long we started to talk about religion. I found out that she had just became a Christian seven months ago. It was really refreshing/encouraging to be around someone who is new in the faith...they seem to have this glow about them....bubbly...her enthusiasm was very evendent. We started to talk about bible verses, bible schools, churches, family, and in those few moments I found out about her passions, and her heart for God. As we talked more, i found out that she is planning to go to guatemala for a missions trip...which is cool, because i went to guatemala for a missions trip. Sweetness....plus i found out that she was going to work in the garbage dump, thats were we did a lot of ministry as well. It makes me excited to see how God brings people together, even if it is for a short duration.

i like my new boots

Since I was going tree planting this year, I got to spend money on a pair of hikers. I have been wanting a pair of hikers for a while, but felt guilty about spending that much money on a pair of boots. But since I am going tree planting, it is imperative that I do spend money on boots. I like my boots. I like them even more because I got a sweet price for them too, which was a God send and it also helps not feeling guilty about spending money on shoes. Umm. Also buying the boots spring boarded me into thinking more about tree planting. Honestly, I am not going to lie, I might die, or just feel like it for the first couple of weeks (I could meet my death and dismemberment by a large animal). I am excited that I get to spend three months in the bush, not showering, hence smelling, campfires, it is kind of an adventure...I like adventures....although I am not too sure how much I am going to like living with the creepy crawlers that, in fact will make an apperance sometime or another in my tent. But going tree planting enables me to cross it out on my "things I want to do sometime in my life before I croke list". As I was thinking about it, I have a lot of things that I would like to do sometime before I kick the can...amy this was partly inspired by your blog....and I am too going to make a list...
-go on a road trip on a motorcycle
-buy a street bike
-go sky diving
-finish school
-get a tattoo
-get really sweet on my guitar
-travel...everywhere and anywhere....
-work in an orphanage or some sort of ministry
-be wisdomful...(i know that is not a word)...but everytime I see a person who knows the Bible like the back of there hand...it inspires me.
okay, that is all I can think of right now. I should get back to doing homework. I am easily distracted. Anyway. Cheers.

Almost done

It is weird, the end is in sight. I put in my two week notice at the store. This year has gone by fast.

The first 2 minutes and 45 seconds, is what I really enjoy about this clip from the matrix. There is a lot of symbolism in it, but that is not what I actually want to blog about.
Have you ever gone somewhere and felt a heavy blanket covering your soul? To feel the spiritual darkness that surrounds a place or an area or a gathering? I am sure that most of us have experienced this. I feel like this every time I go down 20th street. On Tuesday, I was driving down 20th around 12:30am, and I saw a couple of girls walking around, you can tell that they were working. My heart breaks, everything in me wanted to stop my car, get out, and go and talk to them. But I did not, I just sighed and continued on my way. What stopped me?
A couple of years ago, I did an urban outreach with my bible school. My destination was saskatoon, where I spent a week living on 20th street. I know that only spending one week does not give me license to know to what all goes on, but to walk around that part of town, to watch girls get picked up, to watch people go in an out of various houses, to see young children walk into a food bank with their younger siblings and spaced out parents, it breaks your heart. To see things on that level, changes your perspective. I like going into that part of the city, it serves as a reminder that saskatoon is not this nice pretty city where everything is okay. I remember on our outreach we had the opportunity to had out roses to the ladies that were working on the street. Their was this lady who was sitting by the door outside of this porn shop. We had just finished handing out roses, but Krystal and I ( I am not too sure who else was with us) had one left. When we walked over there, she started to cry. She had prayed that God would send her a sign telling her that she was loved. Not all of our roses were excepted in this way, and I do not blame them for feeling any different. But to the ones who were hurting, God really worked. That is why I feel such a strong conviction to stop, but that is why I also I am scared to stop. I don't even have clue of what they have been through, and I do not want to come across that way, so that is why I continue on, and pray for them. I find myself frustrated because I want to help, but I do not even know where to start. So, there is my little rant for the night. I don't even know how to end this...

sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

I just want to share this with everybody. Maybe you will learn from my mistake. Do not put twenty dollar bills in the machine at the university parkade. $20-$6=$14 right?? not according to the machine. ( $20-$6=$0) When they say university is expensive...I say parking is expensive. Next time.... parking ticket here I come..it is cheaper. Ha.

Glory be to God

"when I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings, and crowned him with glory and honor" -king David

I sit here awe struck. Humbled. But loved.

I thought that this was funny...

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

The confession of an insomniac

I have a problem. Sometimes I just cannot sleep. It probably does not help that I work at a grocery store where I work retard hours on Fridays. Because of this my body gets used to the ill adequate amount of sleep I acquire most weekends. I am finding that it also carries over into the week. I should go to bed right now, but I know that I will toss and turn for the next couple of hours. But one thing I do appreciate about the mindless work that I do through the night, it gives me a chance to think about things. Like tonight.
Patience. I know that I have talked before about it on my blog. But it seems to be this reoccurring them that God is trying to speak to me about. Why? Everything in my life is requiring it at this moment. Maybe it is a control problem and I have to learn to just let go and trust. Maybe it is because I like to know what is happening with my life (although it really isn't my life). Or is it that fact that outwardly I look like I have patience but inwardly sometimes it feels like nails on the chalk board. But tonight, God spoke to me while I was peeling of prices, sticking new ones on, listening to the radio. I love how real and active God is, it never stops amazing me at the things that he does. But yes I am going into a tangent. What He spoke to me about.. while it was almost like a revelation, or when you read scripture, it threads together and makes sense...and a new way of looking at it happens. I have often wondered about how to build your relationship on the solid rock and I have been recently re-exploring it lately. Why? As a Christian wouldn't i have already built my life upon Christ, the cornerstone, the solid rock. Well I have done that, or else I probably would of fallen off the track long ago. BUT, I pray that God's words will continue to be the stronghold for me, so when in life, more bigger storms come along, I will be rooted, and I will not swiped into the sand or go over the edge. Remember sin is always crouching at your door, seeking who to devour.
" therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and outs them into practice is like the wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash." - Matthew 7:24-27
So to get back on track to what I was thinking while I was working. I thought actually more about the house. Because Jesus is the foundation (1 Corinthians 3:11) and I thought of myself more as the house. Do you remember when you were a child and either your teacher or your mom or dad or whoever, read you the story of the three little pigs. (maybe after reading this my blog tittle will make more sense to you). Anyways, the first little pig makes his house out of straw and the wolf comes along and blows it over. The second little pig, makes his house out of wood. Wood is pretty stable, but the wolf comes along and blows that over as well. (lots of homeless pigs going on..as the G rated version would be..ha ha..) The third pig however is smarter and builds his house out of brick. The wolf huffed and puffed, but the house would not go down. What point am I trying to say? Well, how easy would of it have been to make a house out of straw or wood. The time probably would of been considerably less. I think that there would be more patience involved building a house brick by brick and how easy would it have been to give up. But if he did, he would of been a homeless or more than likely...one dead pig. But his reward for pushing through was life. This is were the second piece of scripture that God spoke to me about.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22-23
God is working in me so that I can have the fruits of the spirit, which, relates back to the first thing I was talking about...when things in life pop up, instead of falling into the old nature..the selfish nature...everything that the fruits of the Spirit is not....I would be able to withstand and continue to be built up on the rock. More maybe it is a maturation process why the theme of patience keeps reoccurring, because in order to get that fruit, I do need to be pruned. So this is what God convicted me of tonight, it hit me like freight train, providing clarity from my own diluted thoughts. I need to make my house (house: who I am) with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And I confess that I haven't been doing a good job of this. Well, good night or good morning....

I've got nothing to say.

the can is almost bigger than the car

Okay, that was the biggest Red Bull can I ever did see. In fact my sister and I kinda stalked them down Broadway to get a picture. Although, we did not achieve getting a super good picture....we did get some odd looks from the passengers of the "bull mobile". I thought it was funny anyways. This week has flown by unexpectantly fast, thankfully my sister was here to keep me entertained. Which then reminds me of a funny story.
My sister had an appointment this week to get a brace fitted for her ankle. Being the good sister that I am, I took her to the doctors office. Now, I do not think I am old...but I do not think I look like I am fifteen either. Maybe it was the way I was dressed that day...I don't know. But after the appointment, Patricia comes out with a big smurk on her face. As we proceed to the car, Patricia informs me that the doctor had walked her into his office and said," your mother can come in to, if she wants". Ouch. I do I look like I am am forty?? I do not know what is worse...being called fifteen or being called forty....

roses are red...so was my face

I think everybody should have the experience of a barber shop quartet sing to them, especially when you are working at a grocery store, and everybody stops what they are doing to watch. It makes a girl feel special. It also made my face go really, really red, but it was awesome.

To be still

It is two-thrity in the morning and I have no calling for bed. I think I want to explain a bit more on he poem, On his Blindness and why I posted it. Sometimes I say or do things without explaining things, mostly because I am not really good at expressing it. So hopefully I can communicate it and you will be able to understand where I am coming from.
Has God ever called you to do something, or you get a glimpse of what you are supposed to do, but you know that you are not ready to do that yet. Milton wrote On His blindness just before writing Paradise Lost. He had a mission, he was called to write it, so much so, it bothered him ( you get the feeling of restlessness)...It was his one Talent...what God called him to do. In the poem, the one Talent was referring to the Parable of the Talents. The Parable of the Talent....the master gave each servant a talent(s) according to their capabilities. Anyways, the last servant buried his talent because he was afraid to use it and the master called him wicked and lazy. God has given me a talent, just as he has given you a talent. Honestly, I am scared to use it. Mostly because it entails being exposed...which is the opposite of what I naturally want to do, hide, like how the servant buried his Talent. Then I get into this whole performance orientation thing....Am I letting God use me enough? Am I reading my Bible enough...am I praying enough.....am I evangelizing, tithing, ...when is enough? When do you get into that balance of an intimate relationship with God where striving to perform ceases? Does that ever occur? Is it a something you want to have: being content with your relationship with God?... Or will I be always be thinking...well I can always improve in this area... But then it hit me....and I was totally missing the point of a relationship with God....Be still and know that I am God... So this is where I am...Being still....being patient even in the face of restlessness....and knowing that I will always fall short, but God's grace is abundant....and he loves me...despite my best efforts to please him....and trusting when the time is right and when I am ready, my talent will be used. The last line in the poem, it says, "They also serve who only stand and wait." God is not using me any less in this time or in this moment. So instead of feeling like I am useless, I know to slow down and ask God..."where do you want to use me today?". And that is where it starts.... so when I get to heaven...hopefully God will say, "well done good and faithful servant". As for being content with my relationship with God... I think I will always want to know, learn and better my relationship....but also to know when to be still...letting God speak to me....and yes he knows everything about me...but he wants to build a relationship with me as well...and that can't happen if I am wrapped up in myself. I should go to bed now.

I got tagged

Thanks Morgan...
Five random facts about me:
1) I love anime...and yes, I used to watch Sailor Moon.
2) I hate the feeling of towels..especially if you are holding a towel in between your teeth...CRINGE!!
3) I love hot tamales and cinnamon hearts...I once put a whole ziploc sandwich bag of cinnamon hearts at once....I was expelling red saliva.
4) I once flipped upside down on my bike on culvert going full speed, hello captain obvious..who wouldn't of seen the big metal thingy sticking out??
5) I have a thing for drummers.

So I guess I have to tag two other people....so I tag Kjersti and Amy. Cheers!

On His Blindness

On His Blindness, is one of the sonnets that we studied in my English class this year. It is written by John Milton, who also wrote Paradise Lost. There seems to be so much passion behind the words and the deep meaning...which you can figure out for yourself...it conveys somewhat how I am feeling.

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait."

Blessings

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. I do not want to take anything for granted. I have been given food to eat, clean air to breathe, a new beginning every day, a healthy body, a car to drive, knowledge to be attained, friends that are new and old, a place to live, a job, ears to listen and a voice to speak. I live in a country where I can vote, and I do not have to worry about war on my door steps. It is amazing that God's giving nature doesn't depend on how much I do, but on how much he loves me.