A picture of a cold virus

Stupid Cold.....
It makes me mad that something that small can make you sick...

ummm....scatterbrained...maybe?

I am a spaghetti brain, I have a lot of different things on my mind all the time, one thing leads to the next. It is like link lists on blogs I have discovered. You can get to random blogs by clicking on them. Same with my brain, one memory leads to the next or something reminds me of (ha) something and so I am wondering how in the world did I get on to that subject. So this blog is a picture (metaphorically)of the things that are going on in my mind at this moment(s).
-We have a saying in our church back home. I am sure that other churches say the same thing. But it is: God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good. It is a truth that sometimes it takes a lot of faith to believe. But never less it is a constant, something that is always true, no matter what circumstances happen. God is good.
-Peace: I like Christmas. In a world full of chaos, Christ (the Prince of Peace) entered the flesh to give a gift to all man kind: Salvation. The gift of eternity, really no other Christmas gift can compare. Honestly, I have to remind myself of this. Consumerism around Christmas has blinded people (including myself) from this and made Christmas mundane...if you let it. IT is cool to think that Christ came to this world so that we can experience the peace and freedom that a relationship with Him offers. That is how much God loves us and if you don't know that I am going to tell you now: GOD LOVES YOU!! and if someone who happens to read this and has not experienced it, I pray that you come to know this, it is the most freeing experience in the world when you believe this.
-Reading this and my other blogs that I have posted, I hope that I do not come across as a know-it-all. Because I don't know it all. I barely know the tip of the iceberg. My relationship with Christ is a constant learning process.
-They really do not make plastic forks like they used too
Well, I think that I am going to stop there.

I remember when I was a kid, I was fearless. I mean I was still scared by the boogieman, but I wasn't scared of doing things where there was a possibility I could get hurt. I was about five years old and I saw this massive bird hit this window. So, being the curious little sprite that I was, I went over to check it out. I saw it lying on the grass, and yes it was alive, and yes, I did pick it up. My thought process was: it is just a bird, it wouldn't hurt you. So I made my way to my house to show my mom what I had found. As I approached the steps, my mom spotted me and then proceeded to freak out. I was holding this massive hawk that was just sitting pleasantly in my hands, dazed and confused. I let him down in a field, and I watched him (or maybe it was a her) until it eventually flew away. Somewhere between there and now I learned about the concept of pain, which then produced fear. This is probably something that we have all gone through in our lives. Sometimes we are so scared of getting hurt or because we have been hurt, fear develops and then we know what to do and what not to do. I have been learning that this is not a totally healthy approach to life. I have been thinking about the fear of rejection, probably because we all deal with it at some point in our lives. Even as a Christian, we are scared to be rejected for what we believe in. If we are living a Christian life we are going to be against the flow. A verse that struck me when I read it this morning was from John 15:20. "Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." Pain is part of life. Same with rejection. When we get wrapped up in those fears we allow it to interfere with our walk with God and how God wants to use us. For example, last year God did amazing work in my life while I was at honeybee (who would have thought working at a farm manufacturing plant would be a place of learning). I learned that just because you state that you are a Christian, you are not necessarily going to be rejected. If I had listened to my fears, I would have lost the chance of allowing the people that I worked with to know me and for me to get to know them more. Sometimes though, people will disagree, we will feel rejected, but Christ has been through it too.

I have been recently thinking about all my mentors that I have had throughout my life. The more I think about it, the more I feel blessed to have such great people to speak into my life and help me. It is cool because in each stage of my life, I can see where God has put these women to help guide me. Mentors have prayed with me, done bible studies, been a listening ear, been a source of wisdom, kept me accountable, and more. Anyways, mentors are cool people.

pointless blog entry

So I am very excited that I am done school now and I do not have to think about tests or essays for awhile. I seem to have an abundance of time, which is unusual. I have been so caught up in the fast pace of life that now that I have free time, I do not know what to do with myself. I am bored. So then one of my roommates told me to try web boggle. Ok, so you know when you are bored out of your mind when you try internet web boggle. After a few feeble attempts at it I gave up, it is harder than it looks. Then I went to addictinggames.com and played the helicopter game. This is a pretty pointless blog, but I can't think of anything else to write.

The struggles of the advent calender

So Briana's (Briana is one of my roommates) mom bought advent calenders for all the girls in the house. This possesses a certain challenge for me: I am not going to eat all my advent calender candies at once. I have actually given up buying them for myself, I usually end up just buying a chocolate bar,it seems to fit the purpose better. But I am missing the point of the advent calender: waiting for each day to get one chocolate. ONE CHOCOLATE? I think my lust for chocolate is the root of my problem. When ever chocolate is presented to me, it would be a crime if I did not eat it all at once, or at least I try to convince myself of that. But this year: I am being obedient. Even to the point of not opening it yet and it is December second. Plus, I have a support system, Briana is going to check my calender every day....maybe this year things are going to be different.

The random rambling of a sleep deprived person

Do you remember trolls? They were the dolls with the funky hair that stood straight up. Well, this morning I could of passed for one. Don't go to bed with your hair wet.

It would suck being a bus driver in bad weather conditions...

I have have one days worth of classes left. A midterm today, and a midterm on monday....then I am FREE, FREE, FREE! YAY...(well atleast until second semester starts)

My sister is coming up next wensday.....sisterly bonding time...

I was so tired this morning that I tried to convince myself that sleeping through a midterm wouldn't be that bad....don't worry ....reason kicked in....

Lastly, peaches and yogart is very good

Sometimes as Christians I feel like we are characterized by things that we don't do as opposed to things that we do. It is kinda sad actually. I always think about that hymn.. "they will know we are Christians by our love.." And feel guility about singing it. How do they know that I am a Christian? What is the difference between me doing something good and someone else doing the same thing? Am I shinning a light that displays Jesus in me? I don't know. I did an interview this past week with a single parent for my sociology class. She came from a christian home and went to church. I asked if she had support groups (her family disappointed with her and her boyfriend left her so she felt alone) she said that her support came from her coworkers. They were the ones that stood by her at that time and encouraged her. I know that there are many different stories out there where the church has stood by people, but it saddens me when I hear about stories were people feel rejected. I believe that it is love that changes people. When I went to a saturday night service and the speaker talked about how Jesus had so much compassion for the people he wept all night. The thought of how much His people were harassed and helpless invoked so much emotion in him that he was willing to die for us. There is so much brokeness in our world. "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.'". (Matthew 9:36-38) Will they know that I am a Christian by my love?

ABC

Patience is not a virtue I have. Although, I can wait patiently in line for something, or anything else that I know the end will come shortly. But anything that is long term, as in years or months...oi. (like waiting four and a half years to get my braces off) I find it fustrating that I know what I want to do with my life and it is going to take time to get there. The funny thing is, I "know" that God has it all under control, but the impatience part kicks in and then I ask myself do I trust that He has it all undercontrol. It is like ABC. ( I couldn't think of anything better for an example) To get to from A to C you have to go through B.....But I do not want to go through B to get to C....I want to skip it and go straight from A to C. So B for me would be school. I am probably feeling this way because midterms and assignments are coming up rather quick. But to end on more of a positive note....I do realize that I would be missing a lot if I was to skip the B part....and B is just part of maturing so that I am ready for the C part.....

snow

So I decided to think of all the positive things about snow. So here it is:
1. snowball fights
2. it looks nice on trees
3. skating
4. spring follows winter
5. hot chocolate....to warm up
6. skiing....or if you are a snowboarder...snowbording
7. making snowmen, snowangels, and snowforts.
8. sledding
9. it makes you appreciate the heat
10. snow=freshness....sometimes
11. snow is associated with Christmas
12. bears hibernate

You are good enough!

I hate the lie that we are not good enough to do something or for something, and we all have stuggled with that in our lives. Thomas Merton once said that, " the biggest human tempation is to settle for less." I do not think he is implying that we should have the highest paying job, or to get that really expensive vehicle, but to settling for less for what God is calling us to do, that unreached potiential. I think when you believe this lie, it ensnares you and it keeps you in a place of fear. Think about it, the enemy wants to prohibit you from advancing the kingdom. He tricks you by saying because you have done this (sinned), your defective, therefore God can't use you. Truthfully, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But the glorious thing about God is that he uses our defective lives for His glory.

" If you just play the notes on a piano, you can make music. However, if you feel the music while you are playing it, it becomes a masterpiece"

When I was at college and careers last night and the speaker said this, it clicked. He was talking about living a radical Christian life. Maybe this really hit me because I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I do not know how to really explain this, but I am going to try anyway. Going to Bible school has been great and gave me knowlege of how a Christian life should look like. However, I fall back on that crutch of knowledge, and just try to live that comfortable life, when I should be looking for something more. I am playing the notes to make music, but it could be a masterpiece. Something that God has been revealing to me is that I need to be more obediant. More obediant to listening to those little knocks on my heart when God is telling me to do something in a situation and actually living out that knowledge that I have.
Anywho, I hope I kinda made sense of what I was trying to say...

I am a dork

I have a confession to make. I like dragon ball Z (and other anime shows).....but really who wouldn't? Look at how cute he is.

Vent:
I hate writing essays!
I still have three pages to go
and my essay just blows....he..he..
oi

thank God for small mercies

If I had one word for the last three days it would be: Chaotic. So I will start off at the beginning. So I was coming back from Scott's parables, and I was noticing that the heat meter on my car was running warmer than it usually runs. Now being in Circle Drive traffic during rush hour, I really couldn't pull over and check it out. However, smoke started to arise from my hood, so I turned my car off really quick, but I left key sort of in so that I my steering wheel wouldn't lock up, but I lost power steering. Also, keeping in mind I was in the far left side of the road, PLUS...ha ha....people were trying to merge onto circle drive. So I coasted off the the side, running into the shoulder of the road(power brakes weren't working so well either) with a trail of antifreeze to follow and clouds of smoke billowing out of my poor little car. Mercy number one: Definite protection as I crossed lanes of traffic. So I quickly popped the hood of my car when a nice lady stopped and let me use her cell phone to call a tow truck. Mercy number two: Someone was kind enough to stop. Then as I was waiting for the tow truck and watching the expresions of the people who passed me by, when one of my friends, Ang came running up. She had been driving by with a group of friends saw me stranded, and jumped out of the car. Mercy number three: What were the chances that someone I know would pass by and the fact that He provided me with someone for support, because I was not a happy camper at this point in time. Then both of us were stranded waiting for the tow truck, we had to have looked really forlorn, because this young guy pulled over. We told him that we had called a tow truck, but he stayed with us until the much anticipated tow truck dude came. Mercy number four: It was nice that the guy, whose name was Carl, stayed. The tow truck driver dude was a jerk and didn't offer us a ride to Saskatoon Motor Products and we would of had to hiked. So by the time we got to SMP, it was already closed, but I left my keys in an envelope with a queezy feeling; I was not entirely sure what had gone wrong and it would of eased my mind if I had estimate of the damage done. Mercy number five: they phoned and told me that no damage was done, and the source of the problem was the cap of the antifreeze tank was not on properly. So I didn't have to fork over a large amount of money to fix the car! YAY! Now that I think back on it, about a week ago I was at a gas station, and I asked the gas guy to test the level of water and the level of antifreeze to see if the mixture was good for winter........Lesson: Make sure the coolant cap in on....and thank GOD for small mercies!

The Night Sky

I love being in the city, but I also miss aspects of small town life. Last year I worked on the night shift at honeybee. During the two kilometer drive between the plant and Frontier, I started to notice how beauitful it was at that time of night. Some nights instead of going home, I would go down a random road, pull my car over, shut off the lights and listen to music and watch the sky, because the prairie sky is one of the most beautiful things you will see. Tonight I felt like escaping the city and going where there was less lights so I could see the sky, since I do not think I have actually seen it since I have moved up here. Anywho, I discovered that if you follow preston ave, it goes right out of the city and it turns into a gravel road. So Kjersti and I went on our little endeavour until we came to a spot were the city lights were not so bright and the stars lit up the sky. I like moments like these, I once again realize how awsome our God is. In moments like these I think how amazing the grace of God is and why God would choose to reveal Himself to me when there are so many people who still do not know him or is living in this false picture of what and who God is. In moments like these I feel blessed.

Today is a good day!

When I woke up this morning and saw sunshine, I knew from that momement on it was going to be a good day. I am not a big fan of grey sky and cold weather which seems to be the dominant weather pattern as of late. The day got even better when I stepped out the door and it was warmish. Plus, today I do not have to work (SCORE!), I am getting my hair cut, I get to play volleyball, and my english prof somehow managed to not only lock ( the door actually jammed) the late students outside the classroom, but lock us in as well...he he....

il ne sert a rien de se faire du souci

So after considerable time worrying about my in class essay, wondering if I passed or not, hoping when my prof read it wouldn't laugh, and any other fears I probably had, I realize now(after I got my paper back), it was not that big of a deal. Things are only a big deal if you allow them to be......

Marian's little bubble

So I have been thinking about death, life,and regrets lately. Mostly due to an individual from my home town that is battling cancer. Sometimes I wonder if I knew that I was going to die soon, I would be living my life totally different. But it shouldn't be differnet. I am not talking about quiting school, or going travelling, or any whims like that. Mostly it deals with storing my treasures in heaven. We are not immortal physical creatures and we will die. I am kinda getting sick of myself and this stagnet Chirstiany I have developed. This summer some of my friends and I had a college and career Bible study. We were going through the book of Mathew, when it hit me. Jesus did not come for the healthy people. He came for the sick, the hurt, needy, and oppressed. I often think about how much I hear this and get inspired to go help, reach out and that is about how far my motivation goes. Not that surrounding myself with Christian friends is bad, because it isn't, but I feel like I have made a little bubble of Marian's comfort christianity and I need to pop it. I firmly believe that when we go through certian situations in our life, how bad and sucky it may be, God works through it so that we, inturn go out and help people who are in a simular situation. The Gospel: what God has done for us, what God has done for me. I am learning that helping people may not be confined to the sterotypical soup kitchens or other various volunteer work( although it is something that I need to do). It may entitle something as simple actullay being real with people, or making an effort to sit down with someone who is stuggling and have a cup of coffee and let them talk, or building relationships with people who do not know Chirst or being a Big sister to a child who comes from a broken family.
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophsey in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away for me, you evildoers!"
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it's foundation is on the rock. But anyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matt 7:24-27
Anyway, these verses really hit me......

School...oi

I've decided that going back to school is harder than what I first imagined it to be. Although I only do have three classes, I find it overwhelming and frustrating, especially when you are working part-time. I know, people do it all the time and have huger school work loads, but I am not a good time manager ( a skill I might be learning now or will be forced to learn). However, I do realize the importance of school and the alternatives if I don't go, like working at Honey Bee, which compels me onward. So, I am going to go back to study psychology and not wallow in my own self pity.

Ligawhatamo?

Funny quotes from last night:
"Lord I CCCCCCCCCCCC, your name on DDDDDDDDDDD, GGGGGGGGGGGG, I CCCCCCCCCC to sing your DDDDDDDDDDDD" and so fourth. Brian and I were giving Kjersti guitar lessons.
"If big mac was a man, I'd marry him"(author disclosed)

Well, I find it funny how God answers our prayers sometimes. I work at Extra Foods, doing price changes, which means I work from 12am to 8am on Friday nights. I was super bummed out because I wanted to go home on Friday and see the Sterotrap concert plus see everyone. So I reconciled with the fact that I couldn't get it off, because I just started and so-forth. However, on Tuesday I was playing volleyball and I landed on my foot wrong. I heard a POP sound. I thought it was my ankle, but my ankle wasn't swelling and infact it was my foot. So went to the doctor the next day and he told me I tore ligaments. He also told me that I wouldn't be able to work for a while and gave me a note... which means....I can go home!!! I should get life insurance on myself...I seem to be accident prone lately.

Yay for volleyball

I am sooooo exicited, I get to play volleyball tonight on a team. Last weekend I watched my sister play volleyball for Millar, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I WANTED TO PLAY!! Man, I miss the sound of hitting the ball in the right spot and the thrill of the kill. Although, I have not played in a while and I might swing and miss the ball completly, it does not cloud my enthusiam at all, because I am just happy to play!

Whoawho!... I had five hours of sleep

Don't you hate when your in your bed trying to go to sleep but you can't? I hate it! I'ts so aggravating when you look at the clock and do a countdown until you have to get up, you realize you only have a matter of hours unitl you have to get up again, which in turn makes it even harder to sleep. Like Thursday, well I actually did not get to bed til 4am, but when I did go to bed....I couldn't shut off my brain....it was in overdrive. Sometimes I think I come up with my best ideas and thoughts about life durning these wee hours in the night. On Friday I had to work from 12am-8:30am, so I thought I would sleep in the afternoon, but it didn't happen. When I got off work this morning I figured I had about two hours of sleep in the last forty-eight hours. I would of went to bed after work, but then I realized that if I went to bed now, there is no way that I am going to get up and go watch my sister play volleyball. So, I went and watched her.....by this time, my limbs were feeling tingly and my brain was ready to shut-off. By the time I got home, which was 12pm, I finally went to sleep. The kicker is: I just slept the entire afternoon, and the cycle begins again.

Atlas! I stepped into the technology game!

So this is my first time ever blogging. It seems actually pretty weird....it's like a diary that the whole world can see........creepy....but fun!
Seeing that everyone I know has a blog, I decided that it was time to start one too. I do not even know who will actually read this, but I am gonna write anywho...