The confession of an insomniac

I have a problem. Sometimes I just cannot sleep. It probably does not help that I work at a grocery store where I work retard hours on Fridays. Because of this my body gets used to the ill adequate amount of sleep I acquire most weekends. I am finding that it also carries over into the week. I should go to bed right now, but I know that I will toss and turn for the next couple of hours. But one thing I do appreciate about the mindless work that I do through the night, it gives me a chance to think about things. Like tonight.
Patience. I know that I have talked before about it on my blog. But it seems to be this reoccurring them that God is trying to speak to me about. Why? Everything in my life is requiring it at this moment. Maybe it is a control problem and I have to learn to just let go and trust. Maybe it is because I like to know what is happening with my life (although it really isn't my life). Or is it that fact that outwardly I look like I have patience but inwardly sometimes it feels like nails on the chalk board. But tonight, God spoke to me while I was peeling of prices, sticking new ones on, listening to the radio. I love how real and active God is, it never stops amazing me at the things that he does. But yes I am going into a tangent. What He spoke to me about.. while it was almost like a revelation, or when you read scripture, it threads together and makes sense...and a new way of looking at it happens. I have often wondered about how to build your relationship on the solid rock and I have been recently re-exploring it lately. Why? As a Christian wouldn't i have already built my life upon Christ, the cornerstone, the solid rock. Well I have done that, or else I probably would of fallen off the track long ago. BUT, I pray that God's words will continue to be the stronghold for me, so when in life, more bigger storms come along, I will be rooted, and I will not swiped into the sand or go over the edge. Remember sin is always crouching at your door, seeking who to devour.
" therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and outs them into practice is like the wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash." - Matthew 7:24-27
So to get back on track to what I was thinking while I was working. I thought actually more about the house. Because Jesus is the foundation (1 Corinthians 3:11) and I thought of myself more as the house. Do you remember when you were a child and either your teacher or your mom or dad or whoever, read you the story of the three little pigs. (maybe after reading this my blog tittle will make more sense to you). Anyways, the first little pig makes his house out of straw and the wolf comes along and blows it over. The second little pig, makes his house out of wood. Wood is pretty stable, but the wolf comes along and blows that over as well. (lots of homeless pigs going on..as the G rated version would be..ha ha..) The third pig however is smarter and builds his house out of brick. The wolf huffed and puffed, but the house would not go down. What point am I trying to say? Well, how easy would of it have been to make a house out of straw or wood. The time probably would of been considerably less. I think that there would be more patience involved building a house brick by brick and how easy would it have been to give up. But if he did, he would of been a homeless or more than likely...one dead pig. But his reward for pushing through was life. This is were the second piece of scripture that God spoke to me about.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22-23
God is working in me so that I can have the fruits of the spirit, which, relates back to the first thing I was talking about...when things in life pop up, instead of falling into the old nature..the selfish nature...everything that the fruits of the Spirit is not....I would be able to withstand and continue to be built up on the rock. More maybe it is a maturation process why the theme of patience keeps reoccurring, because in order to get that fruit, I do need to be pruned. So this is what God convicted me of tonight, it hit me like freight train, providing clarity from my own diluted thoughts. I need to make my house (house: who I am) with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And I confess that I haven't been doing a good job of this. Well, good night or good morning....