duct tape

I have a ikea bed, one that is very cheaply made, but it does the trick, well it did. The bed has a wooden frame where a piece of thin metal runs along length of it. This thin piece of metal is responsible for holding up the wooden planks, which are of the cheapest qualitiy as well, that fit in the wooden frame to hold up the mattress. Can you see the problem arising? I have had many problems with these planks of wood falling down creating a crater in my bed. So then I usually, pull off the mattress put which ever plank of wood that fell off the metal runner back into place, then I can go back to having a normal bed. This method has (or had) been working for over a year now.
Then one night as I was sleeping peacefully I must of rolled into a week point because I woke up to the sound of my bed saying, crack(feeling one board go ) crack (feeling another board go)crack(and another one) crack (and yet another one) crack (translated, " i can't hold you up anymore"). I am now wedged between my mattress and wide awake.
A week later I finally decided to fix this little problem. I duct taped the planks of wood to the metal runner, which I thought was a pretty good idea, hey?? Anywho, last night as I was again sleeping peacefully, my bed fell apart, again.....Really I know I have gained some weight but this, this is ridiculous! So I think I am giving up on the bed. At least I know the floor wont cave in...

a little secret

So, here it is...
I have no clue what I am doing most of the time.

I was thinking lately about what passions God has laid on my heart.

I think I have come to the conclusion that I am going to go into ministry. Have no clue when, or where or how or what I will be doing.

But I have a vision

And it is a good one

and someday

it will happen....


your word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path

I am getting excited


This weekend was awesome to go home. I love meeting new people and seeing the work that God has been doing in their lives. I love the stars, I love the warmer temperatures of the south.

I was driving home on thursday night. It was a beautiful night out. But Between Shaunavon and frontier there is a huge valley. The moon was full and there was dense fog in the valley leveling off at the top. IT felt like I was in a plane looking down at the heavens below. Illuminated by the bright moonlight, it saturated the fog, highlighting every corner and fold of the valley. Breathtaking....i wish you could of seen it.

Brace yourself for this....

So, I don't usually listen to her, but as I was radomly walking in walmart, I saw her CD. And I bought it. I had friends already told me that they were going to disown me. Haha....
confession tho...i don't mind some of the songs....they are kinda catchy....

Things on the brain...

Spending time with family and friends, midterms, notes, cars that don't start, get notes, meetings, eating popcorn, hockey games, road trips, God-inspiring, waiting, deciding, hoping, craming, late nights, early mornings, red bull, chocolate, deep converstations, french vanillas, running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, laughing, reading, freezing cold temperatures, excitement for warmer days, ways to fix my bed that collapsed while I was sleeping, Augustine, concerts that have been up lifting, meeting interesting people at the concerts, age of empires,cats (pyscho cats especially), planning, china, hong kong, Haiti, dance music, blancing, Lost, assignments, alone time, sleeping in, scheming to scare kjersti, being silly.....
Trying not to make the meaningless things meaningful.

Whirlwind of a week

So Breakforth was an awesome weekend! It was nice to escape from saskatoon and spend time with some friends i have not seen in while...i miss you guys! And of course God moved in my heart, but this year was different from other years I have gone. I don't even know how to put my finger on it. I think it has to do with my own healing and walk with Christ, the other years that I went, it felt that God totally changed me through the weekend. I totally learned things and God spoke to me, but it's cool because I think the dynamic of my relationship with God is changing; how I view Christ, how i view my-self...Again I can't quite put my finger on it!
on the saturday night I went with my friend Chelsea to watch the emerson letters. I bought a t-shirt, they are really nice! It was funny though, because I used to live in the neighboor hood of the avenue skate park. Actually building is where I saw my first movie, mrs. doubtfire. It used to be a movie theater...I lived on 91st and a 119th ave...sketchy part of the city. Seeing the area, it kinda brought up some memories from when I was a kid, funny how that happens.
There has been a lot going through my head lately. If you have been watching the news lately they have been talking about the Yellow Quil reserve. Two little sisters froze to death in -50 weather. Their dad who was drunk, took them outside in t-shirts and diapers. The dad passed out and a couple hours later, somebody saw him and called the ambulance. When he woke up he asked about his kids. Then they found the two little girls frozen. This saddens me.
As somebody who wants to go into social work, I know that I am going to have to do my dues in the child protection end of it, unless you are really lucky and can get in the hospital or school side of it. Working at the nursery ( which it is already the child protection end of it),i also get a glimpse of some social workers down at the department. I haven't had a lot of positive experiences with them, sometimes I wonder why certian social workers are even in the area of child protection. With some of the apprehended children that come into the nursery, to read their file of what they have gone through, some of it is horrific. Then to see them bounce from foster home to foster home....or when they put them in homes where they have not really done a background check....stupid!!!...
okay I am going on to a different subject right now, I am getting mad, and it is a lot more complex then what i am describing.
I really like going to work, I love putting babies and kids to sleep, and I really appreicate the people that I work with. I am going to buy a rocking chair, one of those wooden ones.
My other thoughts have been on a gal that I see once a week. She is sweet, kind hearted, and gentle. She died her hair red, it makes me feel so flattered! Another reason why I don't want to leave to go tree planting, but I think that I am going to work it out with BBBS that I can send her packages through the summer. I don't know if I have impacted her life, but I know that she has impacted mine!
Also, I have a new plan. When I am 35ish, I am going to adopt a bunch of kids from all over the world. I might not be married, but meh, I am sure that I would get lots of support from my community and if they are in a over crowed orphanage, and having a single mom would be better than nothing!


I am always filled by knowing that I am not alone. We weren't meant to be alone. Even tho some days I don't feel like this, but the truth is not rested upon my fickle feelings. It stands firm. He will never leave me nor forsake me... He holds my hand and guides me, He captures every tear I shed in a bottle, He rejoices in me, He knows my heart, and He will never stop loving me. I will never be alone.

Blessings!