i came across a blog that was tittled: music is my boyfriend. the tittle made me happy....
Lets see, whats going on in my life? Umm.... Last weekend I got to go down to swift current and see Means play, which totally made my holiday. My mom came up to swift so I got to hang out with her, which was nice to spend sometime with her. I also got to hang out with suzy and i went down to millar on sunday to go to church in vangard with patty cakes (my sister). Besides that I have just been working and hanging out with friends in the city.
I finsihed christmas shopping and am still in the process of wrapping them. Yes, this year i was ambitious, nobody is getting gift cards.
So i am not going home for christmas eve or chirstmas day. i am working, but you know what? I AM SO PUMPED. (although i am sad that this is my first year away from home for christmas) but, I get to spend it with a bunch of kids and be able to share it with them. i get to be there when they open gifts and spend time with them. i think the song by Third Day christmas like a child, it hits home. www.myspace.com/thirdday
But I will be coming home on boxing day, and my friend megan is getting married on the 29th, which also makes me happy, and I am so excited for them.
i haven't been doing anything super great or exciting but, life is good. God is good. And this christmas season, i have been focusing just the gift of Christ, that he has come, we have hope that doesn't disappoint and life abundantly. i confess, i have no clue what i am doing with this life. i don't know where i am going to be doing or even where i am going to be in the next couple of years. So many uncertanties when i step outside my door. But it is not really up to me for me to worry about. there is so much pressure for us our twenties to figure out our lives, figure out what we are doing, get our educations, and so forward. i am trying to hear Gods voice in the midst of all this. And sometimes He doesn't give me a clear direct answer, sometimes he gives me many possiblities. or maybe he doesn't want me to know exactly, maybe he wants me to live life in the present which then the future arises out of. I don't know where I am going with this...
I am excited about the uncertanties. I have a few things that i think God is calling me towards and opening oppertunites. I just have a few pieces of a puzzle...
well, I am going to make a cup of hot chocolate and watch a movie.
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
auntie
So for those of you who don't know, I have been working at the crisis nursery. I love going to work, and it has been such a huge learning experience for me. The kids that come through are sooo cute, and really I just want to take them home.
I just want to share an experience that I had yesterday. I took a nine month old into a walk-in clinic, which took me forever to figure out how to put a car seat into my car, by which I now realize why families buy four door cars or mini vans. Anyways, the baby was really sick and crying all the way there. Thankfully i managed to calm him down in the doctors office....but it was really funny, a person came up to me and said, "you have such a cute little son". I didn't want to explain that he was not mine, so i replied with a very generic answer...."yes, he is a cute little guy" . Then when I sat down with the other people in the waiting room, and I could see a group of middle aged women looking at me from accross the room, wispering, and giving me really funny looks (okay, so us women probably know that "baby gaze" that we probably give to other women that are holding babies??). I think in my head, the thought of being a mom is such a forgein concept to me. I also feel so young to even have a baby, so it felt kinda wierd, thinking that people thought I had a baby. Then I finally got into the doctors office, where I waited and waited, trying to keep him happy and not screaming his head off.... meanwhile the little tike had the biggest dump, probably of his life...hahaha.....and the small cubical of a doctors office was radiated with the stentch of baby crap!! So I changed him right then and there and left a present in the doctors garbage bin..hehehe...then the doctor (who was a fairly young guy) came into the room and was hit with a wall of stench....(i secretly giggled). anywho, that was my adventure, I have many others too, like adventures of potty training or how to do head lice treatments...i guess it is all in a days work ;)
I just want to share an experience that I had yesterday. I took a nine month old into a walk-in clinic, which took me forever to figure out how to put a car seat into my car, by which I now realize why families buy four door cars or mini vans. Anyways, the baby was really sick and crying all the way there. Thankfully i managed to calm him down in the doctors office....but it was really funny, a person came up to me and said, "you have such a cute little son". I didn't want to explain that he was not mine, so i replied with a very generic answer...."yes, he is a cute little guy" . Then when I sat down with the other people in the waiting room, and I could see a group of middle aged women looking at me from accross the room, wispering, and giving me really funny looks (okay, so us women probably know that "baby gaze" that we probably give to other women that are holding babies??). I think in my head, the thought of being a mom is such a forgein concept to me. I also feel so young to even have a baby, so it felt kinda wierd, thinking that people thought I had a baby. Then I finally got into the doctors office, where I waited and waited, trying to keep him happy and not screaming his head off.... meanwhile the little tike had the biggest dump, probably of his life...hahaha.....and the small cubical of a doctors office was radiated with the stentch of baby crap!! So I changed him right then and there and left a present in the doctors garbage bin..hehehe...then the doctor (who was a fairly young guy) came into the room and was hit with a wall of stench....(i secretly giggled). anywho, that was my adventure, I have many others too, like adventures of potty training or how to do head lice treatments...i guess it is all in a days work ;)
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Peas
This is rather random
But,
It has taken me twenty three years to decide that I do not like peas. For many years I tried to convince myself that consuming them was enjoyable, especially the garden peas. However, I think I only really liked garden peas because I used to steal them from my moms garden as a kid, so it really wasn't the taste that appealed to me, but the thrill of successfully ramsacking the garden of them. So as I matured into adulthood, I lived with the sense that somehow i liked the taste of peas and forced myself to eat them. However, today I realized, after being offered some peas from a garden, I declined...I really don't like peas.
But,
It has taken me twenty three years to decide that I do not like peas. For many years I tried to convince myself that consuming them was enjoyable, especially the garden peas. However, I think I only really liked garden peas because I used to steal them from my moms garden as a kid, so it really wasn't the taste that appealed to me, but the thrill of successfully ramsacking the garden of them. So as I matured into adulthood, I lived with the sense that somehow i liked the taste of peas and forced myself to eat them. However, today I realized, after being offered some peas from a garden, I declined...I really don't like peas.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Global Domination
|
Thursday, November 22, 2007
things to look forward to this weekend...
ice skating
making cookies at school with a friend
catching up on my women and gender studies/study for the exam
the tree 63 concert hanging out with briana
Chelsea coming to see me
hot chocolate
work
Tabby's show
and....
THE RIDER GAME!
making cookies at school with a friend
catching up on my women and gender studies/study for the exam
the tree 63 concert hanging out with briana
Chelsea coming to see me
hot chocolate
work
Tabby's show
and....
THE RIDER GAME!
Monday, November 19, 2007
a blank slate
There is a phrase that is reiterating itself in my head. It is going over and over, slighty eating away. It might not mean anything to you who is reading this, but as for me, it seems to be making me angry.
"how can someone impact their world when they can't even make it to a meeting?"
I joined this group through mosiac, where they meet once a week, where they get together and talk about things that as a group they can do in the city to help out. One week, they talk and pray about situations and possible places that they can help out, and the alternating week they go and serve. When I joined, I told the person in charge that it was a sweet idea, however, i wouldn't be able to make it to the meetings on monday nights, (i have school) but when they do the outreaches, I would be more than willing to help out(b/c they usually have been on the weekends). And that seemed to be okay with them. So, when they have sent out an e-mail stating that they are doing something, I have gone down and did it. But I keep getting these e-mails saying that how I need to be more committed, and giving me a general feel that I am not doing enough. I guess that phrase is icing on the cake for me.
I am learning not to care what people think of me. If someone wants to think that i am lazy and that this type of ministry is not on a priority list for me....
There are a lot of things breaking my heart lately,
my heart breaks for the kids at the nursery, for the situations that some of them have come out of, and for the kids that are getting pushed into our messed up system. My heart breaks when I am driving down the alphabet streets and I see young women get into cars and the hell that awaits for them. My heart breaks for the abused and hurting, knowing that all I really can do, is to sit and listen. My heart breaks for my friends who are going through tough times.
But their are a lot of things that are restoring my heart as well, that give me tears of joy. God knows my heart, God knows what I do, and i will leave it at that.
I really can only do so much, physically, I am tired, mostly because I have been battling a virus for three weeks, most days I am feeling achey and cold coughing up nasty things. Last weekend, one night I was so sick that I couldn't hold anything down. I also had a bunch of people over, which was unfortunate that they got to hear me barfing all night long. But I broke down, and I am going to see a doctor tomorrow.
So how can someone impact their world when they can't even show up for a meeting?
well, I would rather go and do something that is hands on, where I am not sitting on a comfortable couch discussing about all the things we could be doing sipping back tea.
Personally, I don't think that he was trying to be hurtful, but I think he's got backward tactics for trying to get people to come.
So, I am in the process of writing him an e-mail, simply stating that I can't come tonight because I am busy, which is further going to solidify his opinion of me.
.whatever.
"how can someone impact their world when they can't even make it to a meeting?"
I joined this group through mosiac, where they meet once a week, where they get together and talk about things that as a group they can do in the city to help out. One week, they talk and pray about situations and possible places that they can help out, and the alternating week they go and serve. When I joined, I told the person in charge that it was a sweet idea, however, i wouldn't be able to make it to the meetings on monday nights, (i have school) but when they do the outreaches, I would be more than willing to help out(b/c they usually have been on the weekends). And that seemed to be okay with them. So, when they have sent out an e-mail stating that they are doing something, I have gone down and did it. But I keep getting these e-mails saying that how I need to be more committed, and giving me a general feel that I am not doing enough. I guess that phrase is icing on the cake for me.
I am learning not to care what people think of me. If someone wants to think that i am lazy and that this type of ministry is not on a priority list for me....
There are a lot of things breaking my heart lately,
my heart breaks for the kids at the nursery, for the situations that some of them have come out of, and for the kids that are getting pushed into our messed up system. My heart breaks when I am driving down the alphabet streets and I see young women get into cars and the hell that awaits for them. My heart breaks for the abused and hurting, knowing that all I really can do, is to sit and listen. My heart breaks for my friends who are going through tough times.
But their are a lot of things that are restoring my heart as well, that give me tears of joy. God knows my heart, God knows what I do, and i will leave it at that.
I really can only do so much, physically, I am tired, mostly because I have been battling a virus for three weeks, most days I am feeling achey and cold coughing up nasty things. Last weekend, one night I was so sick that I couldn't hold anything down. I also had a bunch of people over, which was unfortunate that they got to hear me barfing all night long. But I broke down, and I am going to see a doctor tomorrow.
So how can someone impact their world when they can't even show up for a meeting?
well, I would rather go and do something that is hands on, where I am not sitting on a comfortable couch discussing about all the things we could be doing sipping back tea.
Personally, I don't think that he was trying to be hurtful, but I think he's got backward tactics for trying to get people to come.
So, I am in the process of writing him an e-mail, simply stating that I can't come tonight because I am busy, which is further going to solidify his opinion of me.
.whatever.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
The unforced rhythms of Grace
Tonight the stars speak
tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
it serves to remind me
what I have means nothing at all
compared to your glory, oh Lord
how long till your voice speaks clearly
how long till your arms envelope me
I cry be my strength where I am weak
oh Lord, have mercy on me please
my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me your strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
-Ben Crist
www.myspace.com/thegloriousunseen
"are you tired? worn out? burned on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly"
I often wonder when a person crosses the line of doing too much, being worn out and burnt out, or tired of trying to measure up. Christianity was never meant for people to be so caught up in religion that we forsake Christ, filling the void with acts of duty, instead of filling our void with Him. It is kinda crazy to think that you can still be living in the flesh, even with doing acts of good deeds. Think about it. Because it is possible. Why do you think Jesus makes a point of saying this to his people. I love the pslams, I love how David went through seasons of happiness and joy, being awe stuck with God to deep sorrow, sadness, and anger toward Him. We are human, poor and needy, read pslam 86. We don't have to be the puffed up model Christian, because we will never be perfect on our own, we will always be poor and needy, nor do I ever want to stray away from that place. I think it is also neat how God uses us the most when we are poor and needy, because we have surrendered all to Him. Don't listen to the lies that tell you that you have to feel good all the time.
"The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my deep moments of discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes and say "oh lord, forgive me" or "help me" " -Billy Graham
Jesus said walk and learn with me marian-learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Come to me...
tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
it serves to remind me
what I have means nothing at all
compared to your glory, oh Lord
how long till your voice speaks clearly
how long till your arms envelope me
I cry be my strength where I am weak
oh Lord, have mercy on me please
my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me your strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
-Ben Crist
www.myspace.com/thegloriousunseen
"are you tired? worn out? burned on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly"
I often wonder when a person crosses the line of doing too much, being worn out and burnt out, or tired of trying to measure up. Christianity was never meant for people to be so caught up in religion that we forsake Christ, filling the void with acts of duty, instead of filling our void with Him. It is kinda crazy to think that you can still be living in the flesh, even with doing acts of good deeds. Think about it. Because it is possible. Why do you think Jesus makes a point of saying this to his people. I love the pslams, I love how David went through seasons of happiness and joy, being awe stuck with God to deep sorrow, sadness, and anger toward Him. We are human, poor and needy, read pslam 86. We don't have to be the puffed up model Christian, because we will never be perfect on our own, we will always be poor and needy, nor do I ever want to stray away from that place. I think it is also neat how God uses us the most when we are poor and needy, because we have surrendered all to Him. Don't listen to the lies that tell you that you have to feel good all the time.
"The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my deep moments of discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes and say "oh lord, forgive me" or "help me" " -Billy Graham
Jesus said walk and learn with me marian-learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Come to me...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
politics 101
So I am excited for the election coming up. But I am not going to blog about a political party or who you should vote for. I don't know a lot about politics, (I guess that is why I have decided to take a political studies class), but I have been learning that one should make themselves educated, look up on line at the different parties and the platforms, find which ones you agree with, which ones you think are going to run a good government. You can do this by googling the different parties.(ah googling, what would life be without you?) you can also google up cbc news and ctv news and click on saskatchewan. So it is really easy to find out about each party...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
video du jour...info
So you guys probably already have found out about google sky, but since I am always running behind the news, I just recently found out about it. It is the coolest thing ever, (okay I sound like a nerd) but really....check it out if you have time....It is neat to see the different solar systems and planets, the universe is so big and beautiful!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Video du jour...
So, due to the high level of information overload in my brain, I started watching more and more you tube videos to counter act it by numbfying it. So thought that I am going to make a series out of the ones that I have watched called video du jour. (creative levels have reached a low...) anywho...these are the first ones that I am going to post.....They are from the Tales of mere existance
This one is my favorite. Somehow it seems to capture my life right now.
This one also cracks me up...and guys think we over analyize...
This one is my favorite. Somehow it seems to capture my life right now.
This one also cracks me up...and guys think we over analyize...
Friday, September 28, 2007
moving on
I am getting sick of moving. Yet again, I seem to be in the process, and somehow, there always seems to be a twist that makes the moving process more complicated. For instance, we moved in April, and with having to leave our old house a day before we could get into our new place, left us moving our stuff into other peoples houses, then on the day of me leaving to go tree planting, I had to move my stuff into the apartment, where I left it all in a mega mess, poor kjersti and jannaya could not get into the closet. When I came back from tree planting, jannaya, was still subletting my room, so my stuff was still in the closet, untouched since april, and everytime I wanted to get something such as my clothes I had to hobble over things, which usually ended up in me squishing something or getting stuck or making a bigger mess. However, I travelled around the province which mostly consumed the free time I had in august, but still, I didn't really have a place to stay. And when I got back into saskatoon, I didn't even bother unpacking my storage boxes because the retarded increase of rent was forcing us to move, so I deemed unpacking to be unnessesary work. Now everything was fine and dandy until last week we got a phone call, and to make a long story short...we won't be able to get in until the 20th of October.(p.s to people...get things in writing....) anywho, so come sunday, Kjersti and I will be nomads, staying with friends and family until we can get in. Now, I should be packing, but I felt slightly fustrated and needed a break. So I am done now..but I was thinking that it will be a good time being able to stay with friends that you don't normally live with. So thats cool, and once I will be able to set up my own room (after five months of really not having a room) it will make me appreciate it more. And I was also thinking about the homeless people, and I am not really stressed about it because I know that everything will be fine after this little stint I will have a place to stay. But the ones on the street face this reality everyday, never knowing if they will ever have a home. So it kinda puts things into perspective and helps the levels of anxiety to go down.
On an other note, I was also thinking how many times I have done this in my past too, moving... When people say where are you from.. I now can say I am from frontier, which leaves most people wondering where the heck it is. But when I was a kid, I moved from saskatoon (where i was born) to Raymond Ab, to sterling, to new dayton, to warner, to edmonton, to slave lake, to kinuso, to cold lake, and then finally back to saskatchewan...frontier. So in a time span of 13 years, I moved ten times. I don't know all the reasons why we moved, some of them was because of different jobs, being on welfare and finding affordable housing, and I know that we moved to edmonton becuase my mom wanted to upgrade her grade 12. But at each place that I have lived I met all sorts of people and experienced different things. As, I have said before, my parents were not the most wealthiest people, so growing up I lived in bad areas in Edmonton (our next door neighbor was a herion addict, and she had a son, whom, I used to play with, and then one day, police and some other people took him away, and my mom told me that he went to live with his grandmother....)to living in a town that was basically a reserve, (the reserve and the town were one) exposed me to certain "elements". Then the move to Frontier was different, acutually it was a huge ajustment, they were all church goers. So, there I was, a 13 year old girl that dropped the f-bomb every second word (just to say the least), and was a very pivital point in my life, and if it wasn't for me moving to Frontier, I would have gone down a very shaddy and different path.
I find when stressful situations arise, there is always the calm before the storm, the hurricane, and then the aftermath, then life returns to homeostasis. The thing is though, and the reason why, I put that story up there is that, life moves on, and you will be okay. Sometimes I need reminders of that; that is why I think back to how many times I have relocated and how I can see God tangibly moving and directing my life. I know I can put my foot forward,and move on, for my God will never leave me nor forsake me, and He holds to that promise for you as well.
On an other note, I was also thinking how many times I have done this in my past too, moving... When people say where are you from.. I now can say I am from frontier, which leaves most people wondering where the heck it is. But when I was a kid, I moved from saskatoon (where i was born) to Raymond Ab, to sterling, to new dayton, to warner, to edmonton, to slave lake, to kinuso, to cold lake, and then finally back to saskatchewan...frontier. So in a time span of 13 years, I moved ten times. I don't know all the reasons why we moved, some of them was because of different jobs, being on welfare and finding affordable housing, and I know that we moved to edmonton becuase my mom wanted to upgrade her grade 12. But at each place that I have lived I met all sorts of people and experienced different things. As, I have said before, my parents were not the most wealthiest people, so growing up I lived in bad areas in Edmonton (our next door neighbor was a herion addict, and she had a son, whom, I used to play with, and then one day, police and some other people took him away, and my mom told me that he went to live with his grandmother....)to living in a town that was basically a reserve, (the reserve and the town were one) exposed me to certain "elements". Then the move to Frontier was different, acutually it was a huge ajustment, they were all church goers. So, there I was, a 13 year old girl that dropped the f-bomb every second word (just to say the least), and was a very pivital point in my life, and if it wasn't for me moving to Frontier, I would have gone down a very shaddy and different path.
I find when stressful situations arise, there is always the calm before the storm, the hurricane, and then the aftermath, then life returns to homeostasis. The thing is though, and the reason why, I put that story up there is that, life moves on, and you will be okay. Sometimes I need reminders of that; that is why I think back to how many times I have relocated and how I can see God tangibly moving and directing my life. I know I can put my foot forward,and move on, for my God will never leave me nor forsake me, and He holds to that promise for you as well.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
untitled
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do you light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to the whole house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
There is a lot of darkness in this world. This summer I was asked, why does God allow or let bad things happen. Honestly, I have been wrestling ever since. It seems like a simple question, I could give a simple fake, make you feel good answer, but it is a lot more complicated than that. And people who have been vicitmized and/or don't have a christian background, my answer would be substanceless...
In a village of 1000 people: (roughly one tenth of the world's population)
-584 people are asian, 124 are africans, 95 are east+west europeans, and 52 are north american
-329 are christians, 178 are muslims, 178 are Hindu, 60 are buddists, 45 are atheists.
-165 can speak manderin, 86 can speak English, and 83 speak Hindi/Urdu
-1/3 of the population are child, half are which are immunized
-60 people ar over the age of 65, 28 babies wil be born, 10 people will die.
-out of the 10 deaths, 3 wil have had starved and 1 would have cancer.
-1 person will have HIV
-200 people will have received 75% of all income.
-800 people will share the remaining 26% of the income.
-70 people will have a vehicle
-1/3 will have access to safe drinking water
-1/2 of the adults are illiterate
-there would be 7 teachers and 5 soilders
-the village would have enough nuclear weapons to destroy itsef and are controlled by 100 people
-500 people would not have ever had a phone conversation
-10 people would have post secondary education
-10 people would have a computer
-500 people cannot attend a religious meeting of there choice due to fear of harassment, torture, arrest, or death.
-250 people have food, shelter, clothes, shelter while the others remain in absolute poverty.
(stats are from my sociology class, I thought that they were interesting)
When people say they cannot see God in the midst of pain, I dont really blame them. Can you see God in the midst of reading these statistics or newspaper headlines of "Police believe a missing Quebec teen may have been sold from one gang to another for less than $3,000 worth of cash and drugs", a mother who has cancer? Broken families where people commit adultry or when the wife is beaten? In allies where people shoot up or sleep, or how about when you read about natural disasters, sucide bombers, school shootings or how about reading about the sex slave industry or how people starving to death?
Pain is kinda a universal language and yes we live in a fucked up world.
But it shouldn't just stop there, I firmly believe that there is a lot of light in the world too. "For God so loved the world he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him......This is the verdict: LIGHT has come into the world.." I don't know why bad things happen, but when they do happen, I know a God that loves you so much that he would give his son, his only son, so that we may have and experience the Light free of cost. I personally have experienced the light and I was thinking that I personally cannot stop anything bad from happening. I don't think God wants anything bad to happen to us, (man I could go into it here, but) and I as a Christian, need to show my light, to put it on the stand and let it shine to those who are still tangled the darkness. God gave us commands for us: to love our neighbor and love Him above all else. To love our neigbor is to help, display your light. I am guilty of hiding my light, I say I want to do things but never get around to doing it, more than ever I am learning that it is nice to say nice things, nice words, but in truth, my actions towards people will speak the most. I feel like nice words only hold up with the actions of love that you do behind it.
let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good deeds...
There is a lot of darkness in this world. This summer I was asked, why does God allow or let bad things happen. Honestly, I have been wrestling ever since. It seems like a simple question, I could give a simple fake, make you feel good answer, but it is a lot more complicated than that. And people who have been vicitmized and/or don't have a christian background, my answer would be substanceless...
In a village of 1000 people: (roughly one tenth of the world's population)
-584 people are asian, 124 are africans, 95 are east+west europeans, and 52 are north american
-329 are christians, 178 are muslims, 178 are Hindu, 60 are buddists, 45 are atheists.
-165 can speak manderin, 86 can speak English, and 83 speak Hindi/Urdu
-1/3 of the population are child, half are which are immunized
-60 people ar over the age of 65, 28 babies wil be born, 10 people will die.
-out of the 10 deaths, 3 wil have had starved and 1 would have cancer.
-1 person will have HIV
-200 people will have received 75% of all income.
-800 people will share the remaining 26% of the income.
-70 people will have a vehicle
-1/3 will have access to safe drinking water
-1/2 of the adults are illiterate
-there would be 7 teachers and 5 soilders
-the village would have enough nuclear weapons to destroy itsef and are controlled by 100 people
-500 people would not have ever had a phone conversation
-10 people would have post secondary education
-10 people would have a computer
-500 people cannot attend a religious meeting of there choice due to fear of harassment, torture, arrest, or death.
-250 people have food, shelter, clothes, shelter while the others remain in absolute poverty.
(stats are from my sociology class, I thought that they were interesting)
When people say they cannot see God in the midst of pain, I dont really blame them. Can you see God in the midst of reading these statistics or newspaper headlines of "Police believe a missing Quebec teen may have been sold from one gang to another for less than $3,000 worth of cash and drugs", a mother who has cancer? Broken families where people commit adultry or when the wife is beaten? In allies where people shoot up or sleep, or how about when you read about natural disasters, sucide bombers, school shootings or how about reading about the sex slave industry or how people starving to death?
Pain is kinda a universal language and yes we live in a fucked up world.
But it shouldn't just stop there, I firmly believe that there is a lot of light in the world too. "For God so loved the world he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him......This is the verdict: LIGHT has come into the world.." I don't know why bad things happen, but when they do happen, I know a God that loves you so much that he would give his son, his only son, so that we may have and experience the Light free of cost. I personally have experienced the light and I was thinking that I personally cannot stop anything bad from happening. I don't think God wants anything bad to happen to us, (man I could go into it here, but) and I as a Christian, need to show my light, to put it on the stand and let it shine to those who are still tangled the darkness. God gave us commands for us: to love our neighbor and love Him above all else. To love our neigbor is to help, display your light. I am guilty of hiding my light, I say I want to do things but never get around to doing it, more than ever I am learning that it is nice to say nice things, nice words, but in truth, my actions towards people will speak the most. I feel like nice words only hold up with the actions of love that you do behind it.
let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good deeds...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The process...
So for the longest time, I have been wanting to get a tattoo. I really like tattoos and is always fascinated by those who have them, usually because it shows a bit of their life story or has personal meaning. My ideas of what I wanted to get were always changing,(sometimes I am indecisive..) so I thought that it was best not to put anything permanent on my body incase of future dislike. However, lately I have been thinking about the word beloved. I know lots of people probably get hebrew words tattooed on them, and the idea is not really orginal, but I really like the meaning of it, and if it has personal meaning and is not just some random piece of art work, then why not get it?? Now I have to find a person who knows hebrew, although it is handy that my sister goes to a bible school were she has a teacher who knows hebrew, then I have to design it, and then find a good tattoo place to get it done. So eventually I will get a tattoo, but I am kind of scared that once I get one, I want would want more.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Man's Best Friend
.jpg)
here is a picture of my dog. His name is Timber. He likes to eat,sleep, and go for walks. He is a rather big dog, and some people are scared of him. But he has intense blue eyes. I am not too sure why I am writing this. But when I was looking through my sister's pictures, I saw this one. I thought that I would post it so everybody can see Timber.

Don't worry he is just yawning...
Monday, August 06, 2007


happy, happy, oh happiness!. I am out of the bush. Good bye hairy legs, swamp smelly boots, shovel, planting bags, and bugs!. It feels like freedom. Funny how a person gets so into routine you forget how life outside of it is. But yeah, so I am home now, home being saskatoon, (although I think I might head out to frontier tonight...) I have been hanging out with friends, going to the Fringe festival, saw a horse race, fell asleep watching movies....its great. I think that insomnia phase that I had is finally gone, and my abilities to stay up late have diminished...oh well, it is probably mentally healthier to have more than three hours a sleep a night:P But I guess life has been busy for me in the last two months. I have done a lot of traveling. I am thinking how to condense the last three months of funny stories, random events, and good memories, and it is a tad bit overwhelming...so here is somewhat of a try at it. Our break between spring and summer plant was cut short. It was short to begin with but after having a day shaved off, which made it three days, it was hard to fit everything in that you wanted to do. The thing was, we did not know that it got cut short until we were just about to leave camp. It kinda put me in a pickle, my ride after finding out that the holiday got cut short, he decided not to go....Then I was super stressed out, because the people who were going to saskatoon on the bus had already left to the bus depot in prince george....suck man...but I got a ride in to prince george, and made it for the last boarding call..hooray...but yeah, in those three days, I visited people in saskatoon, then I went home to Frontier...got to hang out at the jamboree (which was awesome), stayed over night at a friends house in shaunavon, headed back to saskatoon, then headed lloydminister, stayed the night, and then headed out to whitecourt, where our camp was meeting up. So, it was a busy three days, but an awesome three days. After the break the next biggest thing that happend was kjersti and aubree coming to visit. Again, it was nice to see friends. kjersti got to see how life in the bush was...he he... The other big thing that happened was krystal's wedding!!! at first I was not going to go. I wasn't sure where I was going to be at the time...(b.c or alberta) but when we were in alberta, and lori...(krystal's cousin who I worked with) was going...so it made it an attainable visit. So I got another three days off...which was sweet, I got to see some friends in regina that I hadn't seen in a very long time.
But then I went back to the bush, were the life of planting trees went on and on. Mostly because our end date kept on getting pushed further and further away. I think we did the 10 day count down several times. Then, the optional (planting after we were done...)became a mandatory optional. So we headed back out to prince george one last time. Because I had my car this time, it made life better. But funny story...i pulled up to this gas station ( I parked beside the gas station...I wasn't getting gas) just outside of jasper...and i pulled my e-brake when I parked. Thinking that everything was all good with my car, I headed towards lori...where she pointed back towards the direction of my car.....when I looked around, my car was rolling backwards. I ran over there, and was trying to get my key into the door as it was rolling towards another vehicle....ahh...but I got in and slammed on the break....while onlookers were all laughing at me....I felt like a real winner....but nonetheless, it was kinda funny. But I should get my e-brake fixed. I think that it is it for events that are going on in my life.
August is going to fly bye, and I am excited to go back to school in the fall. I am excited about my classes....( I am taking a political studies, sociology and the social welfare system, criminal psychology, child developmental psychology, and a native studies class) But yeah, that's life for me at the moment.
Friday, July 06, 2007
flight or fight
Bears are wild and unpredictable creatures....as I found out...
Okay so you know how in the past, I have blogged about being eaten by a large animal, well it sorta almost happened. I was planting up a hill, I was almost at the top... Ole, my planting partner was finished his bag and was starting a new one, which means that he was a fair distance away from me. As I was looking down planting trees, being in my own world and all, I hear something large coming out of the bush making its way to me. Holy crap (although that was not the original word I used...) A bear came running towards me and stopped about 8 feet away from me. Immediately I tried to remember the advice of the bear aware videos that we were shown at the beginning of the year said. So this is what happened..it stared me down...I stared it down....using my trusty shovel and my planting bags for armor, I charged the beast. With one blow to the nose, and a wild shriek, I drove it back into the bushes, were it cowered with fear of the mighty tree planter...
okay so that is not really what when on...
okay..so it did charge me and stopped about 8 feet away from me...I remembered from the bear aware videos that the average bear could run 6 times faster then the fastest human being...i am not the fastest human being. So I started to wave my arms...Shouting "whoa bear..whoa bear". I slowly backed away...trying not to look it in the eyes, because with black bears, if you look them in the eyes, it means that you want to fight I do not want to fight a bear. So, I started my descent down the hill hoping others would see something following me. At first, I could see the other planters stop, then look at me, I think they were figuring out what I was doing, (ole thought I was being attacked by wasps..) but then when they saw the bear following me, the others came to my rescue....although it was a pretty persistent bear, since it did not really back off until the others were almost at me. Then it walked along a ridge near the bottom, (i was convinced that it still wanted to have marian chops) and then went into the bushes....I don;t really know what happened to the bear after it went into the bushes, stefan sent the helicopter to look for it...scare it away, but the pilot couldn't see it...so.. yeah..it is still lurking around....making me paranoid....actually not really...but it did give me a good scare...dumb bear..
Okay so you know how in the past, I have blogged about being eaten by a large animal, well it sorta almost happened. I was planting up a hill, I was almost at the top... Ole, my planting partner was finished his bag and was starting a new one, which means that he was a fair distance away from me. As I was looking down planting trees, being in my own world and all, I hear something large coming out of the bush making its way to me. Holy crap (although that was not the original word I used...) A bear came running towards me and stopped about 8 feet away from me. Immediately I tried to remember the advice of the bear aware videos that we were shown at the beginning of the year said. So this is what happened..it stared me down...I stared it down....using my trusty shovel and my planting bags for armor, I charged the beast. With one blow to the nose, and a wild shriek, I drove it back into the bushes, were it cowered with fear of the mighty tree planter...
okay so that is not really what when on...
okay..so it did charge me and stopped about 8 feet away from me...I remembered from the bear aware videos that the average bear could run 6 times faster then the fastest human being...i am not the fastest human being. So I started to wave my arms...Shouting "whoa bear..whoa bear". I slowly backed away...trying not to look it in the eyes, because with black bears, if you look them in the eyes, it means that you want to fight I do not want to fight a bear. So, I started my descent down the hill hoping others would see something following me. At first, I could see the other planters stop, then look at me, I think they were figuring out what I was doing, (ole thought I was being attacked by wasps..) but then when they saw the bear following me, the others came to my rescue....although it was a pretty persistent bear, since it did not really back off until the others were almost at me. Then it walked along a ridge near the bottom, (i was convinced that it still wanted to have marian chops) and then went into the bushes....I don;t really know what happened to the bear after it went into the bushes, stefan sent the helicopter to look for it...scare it away, but the pilot couldn't see it...so.. yeah..it is still lurking around....making me paranoid....actually not really...but it did give me a good scare...dumb bear..
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Ha Ha..the blood sucking creatures can't get me in here
I have not blogged in awhile, mostly because it takes to much effort, by the time you check facebook, and..well, facebook....i don't have any ambition afterwards. But I thought I would tonight, even with the sketchy satellite. Speaking of sketchy...this week has been full of sketchiness....being flown into a block, having it rain and hail (the hail actually was a bit painful), starting to make shelters because it got so cold...yes, I never thought that a person could actually get hypothermia in june, but after this week, i realized that it is possible. It is also sketchy standing in a swamp, in a logged area ( not so many other tall objects around) and seeing bright flashes of light around you, and holding a metal shovel in your hand... repeating: this is sketchy, this is sketchy....sketchy seems to be my word lately.
But yeah, actually even though there is a lot of sketchy things going on, I think I am going to stop.
Do you guys have days were you wake up and feel like the worst person in the world. I have been feeling this way for awhile now. I don't even know how to describe it. I don't know why I have the friends that I do, because I feel like a crappy friend, I don't love others like how Christ loved them. I don't honor my mother or father like I should. I am easily angered, and I fail at so many things. I feel like if i touch something it might just fall all apart. I hold bitterness in my heart, and sometimes I find it hard to forgive. I feel small and insignificant.
you see, everything in my life right now, i feel is chaos, mostly because i feel that the peace that I once had is gone. Maybe because I have not been plugged in to the source. Maybe I have not let go of things that need to be let go of.
I was thinking today, as I was planting, I think it is okay to feel like the worst person in the world. maybe we need those times of humbling thoughts. What if it helps you to realize the grace of God. I am the worst person in the world, but it is comforting knowing that God will take me just how I am. My imperfections, failures, and shortcomings. Funny even now as I right this, I feel stupid for sharing it, to tell you the truth, I hate admitting weaknesses.
I don't know how to end this, but I got to go...
I hope that this does not sound like a depressing blog...because I also thought that if God could use this messed up person to His glory, then it is okay being the worst person in the world.
But yeah, actually even though there is a lot of sketchy things going on, I think I am going to stop.
Do you guys have days were you wake up and feel like the worst person in the world. I have been feeling this way for awhile now. I don't even know how to describe it. I don't know why I have the friends that I do, because I feel like a crappy friend, I don't love others like how Christ loved them. I don't honor my mother or father like I should. I am easily angered, and I fail at so many things. I feel like if i touch something it might just fall all apart. I hold bitterness in my heart, and sometimes I find it hard to forgive. I feel small and insignificant.
you see, everything in my life right now, i feel is chaos, mostly because i feel that the peace that I once had is gone. Maybe because I have not been plugged in to the source. Maybe I have not let go of things that need to be let go of.
I was thinking today, as I was planting, I think it is okay to feel like the worst person in the world. maybe we need those times of humbling thoughts. What if it helps you to realize the grace of God. I am the worst person in the world, but it is comforting knowing that God will take me just how I am. My imperfections, failures, and shortcomings. Funny even now as I right this, I feel stupid for sharing it, to tell you the truth, I hate admitting weaknesses.
I don't know how to end this, but I got to go...
I hope that this does not sound like a depressing blog...because I also thought that if God could use this messed up person to His glory, then it is okay being the worst person in the world.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
It's a buggy bug world out there
week five: the bugs attack. I have never, ever been around so many bugs in my life. They swarm, fly in to your mouth, try to crawl up the nose, bite behind you ears, dive bomb your face, and get into your food. You hope that your bug sray works, but it only seems to attract them, while you expose yourself to the deet, it feels like a lose-lose situation.
I have been thinking about chasing after the wind.
Everything is meaningless under the sun?
What motivates you?
Wealth? Power? Prestige? Responsiblities? Obligations?
What makes a person get up everyday, put on clothes, go to work or school, visit friends...
If I didn't have God, everything would be meaningless.
I slave away all day under the hot sun, all for the almighty dollar, so that I can pay for school....it is meaningless...
But there are things that in the end, through doing things that are meaningless, that I have learned.....Perserverance seems to be one of them...
I have been reading Ecclesiastes. I really do not grasp the wisdom that it presents. But God reveals...
I make no sense right now...this is the latest I have stayed up in awhile.
I am going to go to bed, a nice warm bed, in a motel room, where it is bug free...yay
I have been thinking about chasing after the wind.
Everything is meaningless under the sun?
What motivates you?
Wealth? Power? Prestige? Responsiblities? Obligations?
What makes a person get up everyday, put on clothes, go to work or school, visit friends...
If I didn't have God, everything would be meaningless.
I slave away all day under the hot sun, all for the almighty dollar, so that I can pay for school....it is meaningless...
But there are things that in the end, through doing things that are meaningless, that I have learned.....Perserverance seems to be one of them...
I have been reading Ecclesiastes. I really do not grasp the wisdom that it presents. But God reveals...
I make no sense right now...this is the latest I have stayed up in awhile.
I am going to go to bed, a nice warm bed, in a motel room, where it is bug free...yay
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
