Ezekiel 36:26

i find it funny that whenever I am away from the computer, I always think of things that i want to write about. but when i am here, my mind goes blank.
so much has happened in the last month and a bit. It took me a month to get used to everything here; the kids, the routine, the cement walls surrounding the farm...
i will just talk about some of my highlights from the this past month..
1) is I went into soweto with one of ladies who works at tlc. she showed us her home and the surrounding soweto area. I did get to see nelson mendala house, the hector piterson museum, and of course just the driving around soweto was interesting in itself. But martha took us to this very traditional resturant..basically you buy meat, then go around the back, put it on a braai ( which was a barol (sp?) cut in half with a grill on top). the surroundings was interesting, which it's been a couple of weeks since i ate there and I have not lost weight since then ;) but it was very good...
2) I went to the hospital on my day off to see my favorite baby. he had jaundis and needed to be under a light for a week. I also got to go see another baby who just finished having a tumor removed from his head...
3) We had a volunteer weeked couple of weeks ago. Joanna and pippa shared about where some of the babies came from and how the ended up at tlc. Also i got to see a rhino and girafes.
4) Being able to hold Rowan for his baptism
There is probably more highlights that I am just not thinking of right now. I am still continually being stretched. Coming here i felt very selfish in even coming to work at tlc. When I was leaving, people would say to me, that I was doing such a good cause. But I am struggling with the balance of feeling selfish for me to be here. I know that I want to help out and God is using me here and I know that their was purpose. But children need stability and to be able to attach to somebody and build that trust. Sure some get use to having the high turn over of volunteers, but, they need people that will be willing to commit to them for years. Not all the children get adopted out here. do you ever notice when someone goes overseas, there is a big hype about it, like for some reason there is more value in doing some great cause. I think that people do great causes when the go to work, or when they go to school, or just living their lives following what God is telling them. It is in the little things; that is something to be commended for. I was just thinking of in Corinthians when paul is talking about spiritual gifts...he talks about the gifts of prophecy and tongues, and that those are gifts to desire. (and when i think of it, maybe it is just me, but we put a heirarchy to what things are greater then others?) but I like when Paul says that he would rather speak five intelligable words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue... or I like the parable of the lost sheep...there is merit in small things meaningful things
Tlc has become something more for me. I am not just working with orphans , but I am working with God's little children, people who he has specifically created and has a purpose for. I am a surrogate mom for this short brief moment, they probably wont remember me when they are older. I am learning what it means to be a living sacrafice, loving the lord with all my heart, mind, and soul. But honestly, I can't say that I am fully there yet, i see it though. I know there is cost involved, am I at the point of paying it? I am not sure yet. I am not a beacon of selflessness or love, but I am thankful for the grace of God and the oppertunities, like working at tlc to strectch me in those places.