CRAP!!

So, today we stopped at Wendys to get some food before the Billy Talent show. I opened my wallet to get my global payment card, to pay and it was not there. This is the worst feeling in the world....loosing a credit card that is hooked up to your bank account...but I canceled it, and hopefully nobody went for a joy ride...which I will not know because there was a time frame of 15 hours where I do not know the activity of my account....

I just realized that I have an essay due on Monday...chapters to catch up for reading...but somethings just mean more than school I have discovered. Priorities are good. Maybe your thinking man, your in school, you should make it high on the priority list, but in truth, schooling is not eternal. People are eternal. Schooling is important, and I am not going to kybosh it, and I will get it done (and I will try to do the best I can at it), but there is more to life.

Sometimes

I am a hypocrite.
How can I tell people about the truth of God when I have a hard time dealing with it myself.
Do you ever find that it is the simplest truths about Christianity that is the hardest to believe. Not that I feel this way all the time, because God has done work in my life. But still.. Like this common phrase ....trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Or do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of it's own....etc. They are so simple but so hard to actually put into practice. But ya, God is good...I do know that even if I am having a bad day. And I do know that God has rooted truths into my life, even if I fully do not understand them.

Picture this

Driving home from church, sunlight shining through the car window warming your face, and listening to this song. Some moments, I wish, could last for eternity..heaven on Earth or a glimpse of heaven?

I love running.
I love the the way the air rushes in and out of my lungs.
I love how running creates a rhythm: how fast my legs are moving, the way my foot goes from heel to toe, and the beat of my heart.
I love pushing myself till I feel like I am going to faint and the energy that I get afterwards.

I came into the realization that I need to get into shape for this summer, so I started to go to the gym again. The bummer part is that I stopped going for about a month and a half, so I feel like I have to start at square one again.

Anyways, while I was sweating away on the treadmill, I thought about how there are different verses in the Bible were our Christian walk is compared to finishing a race. One particular verse in 1 Corinthians 9:25 spoke to me: "Everyone who competes on the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Strict training is something that I do not practice very well. I see areas in my life where spiritual disciplines are somewhat lacking: fasting, tithing, evangelism.... Another word in a different verse talks about running with perseverance; to never give up. I like the imagery.

Marian vs. The Arachnid

One thing I like about winter is the fact that the insects usually hibernate. Last night when I came home from work, I plopped down onto my bed and started reading. Out of the corner of my eye I saw this little black thing, the size of a quarter, run across my floor. When I looked over and realized that it was a spider, panic and a slight yelp came upon me. So like any rational person, I unleashed all wrath and furry against the vile creature. This lead to my bookshelve being somewhat empty and my room looking like world war three happened, but nonetheless, I vanquished my mortal enemy. I hate spiders!!!

Friends.....

Yay, for being home and being able to see my friends. Seriously, this is the first time in a year and a half (since jo and ben's wedding) where the five of us have been together in the same room. It is funny how when we were growing up how we took advantage of the time we had together, it seemed normal that we always got to see each other. Now that we are growing up we realize just exactly how precious our time is together.

A picture of a cold virus

Stupid Cold.....
It makes me mad that something that small can make you sick...

ummm....scatterbrained...maybe?

I am a spaghetti brain, I have a lot of different things on my mind all the time, one thing leads to the next. It is like link lists on blogs I have discovered. You can get to random blogs by clicking on them. Same with my brain, one memory leads to the next or something reminds me of (ha) something and so I am wondering how in the world did I get on to that subject. So this blog is a picture (metaphorically)of the things that are going on in my mind at this moment(s).
-We have a saying in our church back home. I am sure that other churches say the same thing. But it is: God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good. It is a truth that sometimes it takes a lot of faith to believe. But never less it is a constant, something that is always true, no matter what circumstances happen. God is good.
-Peace: I like Christmas. In a world full of chaos, Christ (the Prince of Peace) entered the flesh to give a gift to all man kind: Salvation. The gift of eternity, really no other Christmas gift can compare. Honestly, I have to remind myself of this. Consumerism around Christmas has blinded people (including myself) from this and made Christmas mundane...if you let it. IT is cool to think that Christ came to this world so that we can experience the peace and freedom that a relationship with Him offers. That is how much God loves us and if you don't know that I am going to tell you now: GOD LOVES YOU!! and if someone who happens to read this and has not experienced it, I pray that you come to know this, it is the most freeing experience in the world when you believe this.
-Reading this and my other blogs that I have posted, I hope that I do not come across as a know-it-all. Because I don't know it all. I barely know the tip of the iceberg. My relationship with Christ is a constant learning process.
-They really do not make plastic forks like they used too
Well, I think that I am going to stop there.

I remember when I was a kid, I was fearless. I mean I was still scared by the boogieman, but I wasn't scared of doing things where there was a possibility I could get hurt. I was about five years old and I saw this massive bird hit this window. So, being the curious little sprite that I was, I went over to check it out. I saw it lying on the grass, and yes it was alive, and yes, I did pick it up. My thought process was: it is just a bird, it wouldn't hurt you. So I made my way to my house to show my mom what I had found. As I approached the steps, my mom spotted me and then proceeded to freak out. I was holding this massive hawk that was just sitting pleasantly in my hands, dazed and confused. I let him down in a field, and I watched him (or maybe it was a her) until it eventually flew away. Somewhere between there and now I learned about the concept of pain, which then produced fear. This is probably something that we have all gone through in our lives. Sometimes we are so scared of getting hurt or because we have been hurt, fear develops and then we know what to do and what not to do. I have been learning that this is not a totally healthy approach to life. I have been thinking about the fear of rejection, probably because we all deal with it at some point in our lives. Even as a Christian, we are scared to be rejected for what we believe in. If we are living a Christian life we are going to be against the flow. A verse that struck me when I read it this morning was from John 15:20. "Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." Pain is part of life. Same with rejection. When we get wrapped up in those fears we allow it to interfere with our walk with God and how God wants to use us. For example, last year God did amazing work in my life while I was at honeybee (who would have thought working at a farm manufacturing plant would be a place of learning). I learned that just because you state that you are a Christian, you are not necessarily going to be rejected. If I had listened to my fears, I would have lost the chance of allowing the people that I worked with to know me and for me to get to know them more. Sometimes though, people will disagree, we will feel rejected, but Christ has been through it too.

I have been recently thinking about all my mentors that I have had throughout my life. The more I think about it, the more I feel blessed to have such great people to speak into my life and help me. It is cool because in each stage of my life, I can see where God has put these women to help guide me. Mentors have prayed with me, done bible studies, been a listening ear, been a source of wisdom, kept me accountable, and more. Anyways, mentors are cool people.

pointless blog entry

So I am very excited that I am done school now and I do not have to think about tests or essays for awhile. I seem to have an abundance of time, which is unusual. I have been so caught up in the fast pace of life that now that I have free time, I do not know what to do with myself. I am bored. So then one of my roommates told me to try web boggle. Ok, so you know when you are bored out of your mind when you try internet web boggle. After a few feeble attempts at it I gave up, it is harder than it looks. Then I went to addictinggames.com and played the helicopter game. This is a pretty pointless blog, but I can't think of anything else to write.

The struggles of the advent calender

So Briana's (Briana is one of my roommates) mom bought advent calenders for all the girls in the house. This possesses a certain challenge for me: I am not going to eat all my advent calender candies at once. I have actually given up buying them for myself, I usually end up just buying a chocolate bar,it seems to fit the purpose better. But I am missing the point of the advent calender: waiting for each day to get one chocolate. ONE CHOCOLATE? I think my lust for chocolate is the root of my problem. When ever chocolate is presented to me, it would be a crime if I did not eat it all at once, or at least I try to convince myself of that. But this year: I am being obedient. Even to the point of not opening it yet and it is December second. Plus, I have a support system, Briana is going to check my calender every day....maybe this year things are going to be different.

The random rambling of a sleep deprived person

Do you remember trolls? They were the dolls with the funky hair that stood straight up. Well, this morning I could of passed for one. Don't go to bed with your hair wet.

It would suck being a bus driver in bad weather conditions...

I have have one days worth of classes left. A midterm today, and a midterm on monday....then I am FREE, FREE, FREE! YAY...(well atleast until second semester starts)

My sister is coming up next wensday.....sisterly bonding time...

I was so tired this morning that I tried to convince myself that sleeping through a midterm wouldn't be that bad....don't worry ....reason kicked in....

Lastly, peaches and yogart is very good

Sometimes as Christians I feel like we are characterized by things that we don't do as opposed to things that we do. It is kinda sad actually. I always think about that hymn.. "they will know we are Christians by our love.." And feel guility about singing it. How do they know that I am a Christian? What is the difference between me doing something good and someone else doing the same thing? Am I shinning a light that displays Jesus in me? I don't know. I did an interview this past week with a single parent for my sociology class. She came from a christian home and went to church. I asked if she had support groups (her family disappointed with her and her boyfriend left her so she felt alone) she said that her support came from her coworkers. They were the ones that stood by her at that time and encouraged her. I know that there are many different stories out there where the church has stood by people, but it saddens me when I hear about stories were people feel rejected. I believe that it is love that changes people. When I went to a saturday night service and the speaker talked about how Jesus had so much compassion for the people he wept all night. The thought of how much His people were harassed and helpless invoked so much emotion in him that he was willing to die for us. There is so much brokeness in our world. "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.'". (Matthew 9:36-38) Will they know that I am a Christian by my love?

ABC

Patience is not a virtue I have. Although, I can wait patiently in line for something, or anything else that I know the end will come shortly. But anything that is long term, as in years or months...oi. (like waiting four and a half years to get my braces off) I find it fustrating that I know what I want to do with my life and it is going to take time to get there. The funny thing is, I "know" that God has it all under control, but the impatience part kicks in and then I ask myself do I trust that He has it all undercontrol. It is like ABC. ( I couldn't think of anything better for an example) To get to from A to C you have to go through B.....But I do not want to go through B to get to C....I want to skip it and go straight from A to C. So B for me would be school. I am probably feeling this way because midterms and assignments are coming up rather quick. But to end on more of a positive note....I do realize that I would be missing a lot if I was to skip the B part....and B is just part of maturing so that I am ready for the C part.....

snow

So I decided to think of all the positive things about snow. So here it is:
1. snowball fights
2. it looks nice on trees
3. skating
4. spring follows winter
5. hot chocolate....to warm up
6. skiing....or if you are a snowboarder...snowbording
7. making snowmen, snowangels, and snowforts.
8. sledding
9. it makes you appreciate the heat
10. snow=freshness....sometimes
11. snow is associated with Christmas
12. bears hibernate

You are good enough!

I hate the lie that we are not good enough to do something or for something, and we all have stuggled with that in our lives. Thomas Merton once said that, " the biggest human tempation is to settle for less." I do not think he is implying that we should have the highest paying job, or to get that really expensive vehicle, but to settling for less for what God is calling us to do, that unreached potiential. I think when you believe this lie, it ensnares you and it keeps you in a place of fear. Think about it, the enemy wants to prohibit you from advancing the kingdom. He tricks you by saying because you have done this (sinned), your defective, therefore God can't use you. Truthfully, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But the glorious thing about God is that he uses our defective lives for His glory.

" If you just play the notes on a piano, you can make music. However, if you feel the music while you are playing it, it becomes a masterpiece"

When I was at college and careers last night and the speaker said this, it clicked. He was talking about living a radical Christian life. Maybe this really hit me because I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I do not know how to really explain this, but I am going to try anyway. Going to Bible school has been great and gave me knowlege of how a Christian life should look like. However, I fall back on that crutch of knowledge, and just try to live that comfortable life, when I should be looking for something more. I am playing the notes to make music, but it could be a masterpiece. Something that God has been revealing to me is that I need to be more obediant. More obediant to listening to those little knocks on my heart when God is telling me to do something in a situation and actually living out that knowledge that I have.
Anywho, I hope I kinda made sense of what I was trying to say...